Endure…

Endure:  in d(y)oor – verb  1. suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently.
2. to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in.
3. remain in existence; last.

Endure: when the perfect world of your childhood begins to crumble.

Endure: when mom and dad are fighting.

Endure: when no one is there to celebrate your achievements.

Endure: when it’s all about Tamerlan – again.

Endure: as the fighting gets worse.

Endure: when dad finds your stash and hits you.

Endure: as the wave of shock hits your body and your emotions.

Endure: when you learn that monsters are real and there is no one to protect you from them.

Endure: when you see the signs that big brother is becoming one.

Endure: when dad gets “sick” and the monster is now in charge.

Endure: when mom is screaming again.

Endure: when all you want to do is have fun and he makes you do push ups.

Endure: when all you want to do is have fun and he makes you read the Quran.

Endure: when you know you can’t have friends over anymore.

Endure: when your only relief from the pain is drinking and getting high.

Endure: when he drops you off at college and leaves without saying a word.

Endure: when you want to cry.

Endure: because showing how much it hurts fixes nothing.

Endure: when all the decisions of life are suddenly on your shoulders.

Endure: when you have no idea what to do or who you are or where you belong.

Endure: when dad leaves the home, the country, your life.

Endure: when you don’t know how much longer you can hide the pain.

Endure: when you know you can’t ask questions.

Endure: when the fear and the pain are so real and so raw.

Endure: when you wish death would come but your heart keeps beating.

You endured: when they tried to kill you.

You endured: through the agony of the capture.

You endured: as they stood back and watched with cold eyes while you cried for two days.

Endure: when they tell you the scars and the disabilities are permanent.

Endure: when your “escorts” are rougher than they need to be.

Endure: when you no longer feel anything.

Endure: when your friends are all gone and you hear they all hate you now.

Endure: when there is no one to talk to and you realize with a shock that there never was.

Endure: when all reason to hope is gone.

Endure: when it seems you can’t trust anyone.

Endure: when there is nothing more to say and you think you’re going to scream at the phone if she says “be strong” one more time.

Endure: because your life still matters.

Endure: because miracles do happen.

Endure: because the strongest power known to man is the power of prayer, and many are praying for you.

Endure: because the truth cannot stay hidden forever.

Endure: because unknown to you, there are many who love you.

Endure: because all those people you tweeted about, the ones who know the truth but are silent because they are in the minority, those people are not so silent anymore and their numbers are growing by the day.

Endure: because it is not all about Tamerlan anymore and in our eyes, it never should have been.

Jahar’s life matters. Let’s keep praying and fighting for him to get it back, better, deeper, richer than he could ever dream or hope for. God is able and by His strength, so are we. A tweet from Betty Kneifel put it this way: “Each time we act to improve the life of another person, we send forth a ripple of hope in what appears to be a hopeless society.”

Published by: iwasleah10years

Winston Churchill said no crime is so great as daring to excel. I am ready to take that dare. An unexpected and somewhat unexplainable compassion for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has drawn me out of my comfort zone.

8 Comments

8 thoughts on “Endure…”

  1. “In 2011, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wrote an English assignment while attending UMass Dartmouth about the West Memphis Three, who many believe were wrongly accused.
    ‘In this case it would have been hard to protect or defend these young boys if the whole town exclaimed in happiness at the arrest. Also, to go against the authorities isn’t the easiest thing to do. Don’t get me wrong though, I am appalled at the situation but I think that the town was scared and desperate to blame someone. It’s because of stories like this and such occurrences that make a positive change in this world. I’m pretty sure there won’t be anymore similar tales like this. In any case, if they do, people won’t stand quiet, I hope. ‘ ”

    Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
    August 31, 2011 at 11:42 pm
    https://umdfyebookblink.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/thin-slicing-turns-tragic/#comment-1877

    1. Though he is most likely unaware, Jahar’s hope, as stated in that essay, is being realized. It is a beautiful thing and I believe we are witnessing a genuine move of God. People are not standing quiet this time. I am honored to be called into this fight and I am convinced we will prevail for Jahar!

    1. Thank you Richard. I wish I shared your belief, or maybe I should say I wish I CONSISTENTLY shared your belief that I am doing something of value that will actually have an effect on the outcome for Jahar and those caught up in this tragedy. Some days I soar, some days I fight the demons of doubt & despair. Comments like yours really help. Thank you again for taking the time to write.

  2. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Has Jahar Tsarnaev found his own Emile Zola? A passionate voice of conscience pitted against the mob.

    1. Richard, for some reason this particular comment goes right to the core of me. When I read it, my inner pit bull began salivating. I relish the idea that I may indeed be standing in the gap, pitted against the mob of those arrayed against Jahar!

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